🔗 Share this article Positive Thinking Can Make Success Appear As the Sole Valid Choice, However Meekness Permits Poise When I came of age in the 1990s, the government gave the impression that the gender pay gap was best addressed by telling girls that they could do anything. Splashy, lurid pink ads convinced me that institutional and cultural obstacles would fall in the face of my self-assurance. Researchers have since debunked the idea that an individual can transform their existence through positive thinking. Will Storr, in his work Selfie, explains how the capitalist fallacy of fair competition fuels much of personal development trends. Nevertheless, there is a part of me continues to think that by putting in the work and create a firm goal map, I ought to realize my deepest aspirations: the sole barrier to my fate is me. What is the path to a harmonious middle ground, a balance between trusting in my unlimited potential but avoiding self-reproach for all missteps? The Solution Lies in Self-Effacement The answer, according to an early Christian thinker, a theologian from ancient Africa, is humility. The saint noted that self-abasement served as the base of all other virtues, and that in the quest for the divine “the primary aspect involves humility; the next, modesty; the third, self-effacement”. Being an ex-Catholic such as myself, the term modesty may trigger a range of negative emotions. My upbringing occurred in an era of the church when focusing on physical beauty equated to narcissism; sexual desire was frowned upon beyond reproduction; and even pondering solo sex was deemed a transgression. It’s unlikely that the saint meant this, but throughout much of my life, I confused “meekness” with embarrassment. Constructive Meekness Isn’t About Personal Disgust Embracing modesty, according to psychiatrist Ravi Chandra, isn’t equivalent to despising yourself. Someone who is healthily humble is proud of their abilities and accomplishments while acknowledging that learning never ends. The psychiatrist outlines various types of meekness: cultural humility; intergenerational humility; intellectual humility; meekness about what one knows; humility of skill; humility of wisdom; humility of awe; and compassion in pain. Studies in psychology has similarly found a range of benefits stemming from open-mindedness, encompassing greater resilience, patience and bonding. Meekness in Action Through my profession providing emotional care at senior facilities, I now think about modesty as the act of being present to the other. Humility is an act of re-grounding: returning, step by step, to the carpet beneath my shoes and the human being before me. Certain individuals who share with me repeated tales about their past, repeatedly, during each visit. In place of monitoring time, I strive to pay attention. I try to stay curious. What can I learn from this individual and the narratives they cherish when so much else has gone? Creative Quietude I strive to adopt the spiritual mindset that theological scholar Huston Smith called “creative quietude”. Ancient Chinese sages urge individuals to silence the self and reside in sync with the universe’s rhythm. This could be particularly important amid efforts to restore the damage our species has done to the natural world. In her book Fathoms: The World in the Whale, writer Rebecca Giggs clarifies that practicing humility enables us to re-connect with “the animal inside, the being that trembles toward the unseen". Adopting a stance of modesty, of ignorance, enables us to recognize our species is a part of an expansive system. The Beauty of Meekness There exists an emptiness and despair that follows believing you can do anything: triumph – whether this means attaining riches, reducing size, or winning the presidential race – turns into the sole valid outcome. Humility enables dignity and failure. I embrace meekness, grounded in reality, which means all necessities are present to flourish.